I grew up in the suburbs in Massachusetts. I love most things Boston: the Red Sox, the Patriots, the Celtics, Big Papi, The Big 3, Tom Brady, the Boston Marathon, Patriot’s Day, Friendly’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, Legal Seafood, Eagles Deli, wicked awesome sandwiches from Kelly’s Roast Beef, New England Clam Chowder, Boston Commons, the Boston Globe sports page, WSBK, getting drunk on Bolyston Street, walking through Landsdowne Street (especially before a Sox game), Davis Square, Harvard Square, and of course Good Will Hunting. (Some of these places are just outside of Boston, but I’m gonna count them anyway.)
But I’m the first to admit, that although I love Boston and still call it my true home, there’s a reason that I haven’t lived there for ten years. I’ll always wear my Sox hat and be loyal to my roots, but I have moved on. And since my experiences as an adult in Boston are limited, I’ve decided to respectfully push it to the side for this column. I hope my Boston readers understand and don’t think I’ve betrayed them. Go Sox! Go Celtics! Go Patriots! Go Boston! Now let’s get to it.
For the last decade, I spent five years in Los Angeles and five years in New York City. From 22-27, I was all over Hollywood. And from 27-32 I ruled (well…lived in) the East Village.
#3 THE PORN INDUSTRY: Los Angeles (specifically the Valley) ((even more specifically Chatsworth)) is where porn is born. Most pornstars live in the area because it’s quiet, mellow, and people let them screw in peace. These women are fake, fit, tan, and willing to do almost anything on camera. When they’re not gyrating, they’re at the supermarkets, the gyms, and the malls just like everyone else. You’re not gonna marry them, but they’re definitely gonna catch your eye and make you say: “Holy shit! Did you see those huge…?
#4 THE PLAYBOY MANSION: It’s located in a mysterious location somewhere in LA (Westwood to be exact.) Playboy bunnies frolic there. Enough said!
#5 WEATHER: Since it’s warm nearly every day of the year, women can show off their assets on a consistent basis. There is no winter hibernation like in NYC where you won’t see female skin for months at a time. Women are constantly bouncing around in tank tops and skirts. And since its sunny, they’re usually tan. And since it’s nice everyday, they can exercise outside allowing them to stay fit.
#1 VARIETY: New York City prides itself in its diversity. There is a distinct mix of hot women parading around town. It’s not just the bleached blonde with fake boobs. In one scene you may see a sophisticated hot woman, an exotic hot woman, a skanky hot woman, and a conservative hot woman. There’s a whole mix to choose from.
#3 MONEY: A fair amount of hot women that live in NYC have money. They’ve either earned it, inherited it, or a rich boyfriend/husband gives it to them. As a result these women walk around in top of the line clothes and breathe an heir of hotness.
I am by no means a player although I secretly always wanted to be one. Unfortunately, my ethics and morals (and lack of game) have prevented me from having an abundance of hook-up stories.
Since LA is so big, it’s hard to pin point where to go. If you end up at Barney’s Beanery, for instance, that’s where you’re going to be for the night. The women there will be your only options. Maybe you meet a great girl, but if you don’t, you’re screwed because you are basically stuck there.
The proximity of bars allows the man to wander in and out to dozens of places in one night. You don’t like the girls at Gallery Bar, then just head on over to Piano’s. That’s not looking good, then take a quick taxi ride, and you’re at The Crocodile Lounge (If you strike out there at least you can enjoy the skee-ball and free pizza.) There’s an endless supply of bars, lounges, clubs and therefore, women all over the city.