Have you ever fantasized about throwing a bright yellow penalty flag into the aisle when the priest wears the wrong liturgical color or the organist plays the opening hymn at the speed of a sick tortoise? Probably not. But with the convergence of the start of football season, the church “program year,” and the labor dispute between the NFL and their referees, I saw an opportunity to bring this all together in a blog post. (Bear with me — it’s how my mind works).
To assist you in exercising your God-given (literally) right to good liturgy, I’m offering my guide to liturgical fouls. I urge you to use this empowerment of the laity (and cranky visiting clergy) wisely and with discretion. I’ll soon make the penalty flags available on my website for a mere $49.99.