Hilarious Herman Cain

By Michael J.W. Stickings

“To quote Socrates…”

Herman Cain is hee-larious.

Either that, or he’s a delusional egomaniac with a penchant for public self-aggrandizement so massive it exists on the outer fringes of the human condition.

(You know, like his buddy Newt, but without the capacity for any trace of rational thought.)

Actually, let’s just agree that he’s both.

Consider, for example, what he said yesterday at the University of Florida, an institution of higher learning that apparently wished to defile itself, and undermine its educational purpose, by having Herman Cain grace its campus and pollute the minds of its students:

Herman Cain says that if he were the Republican nominee, he would have a “substantial lead” over President Barack Obama right now.

“The reason is quite simple,” Cain told reporters on Thursday, according to the Gainesville Sun. “I have some depth to my ideas.”

First, it’s not clear that Cain actually knows the meanings of the words “substantial” and “lead,” nor the others he used.

Second, were he actually a reasonable fellow he would have used the phrase “a great deal of regurgitational speaking-point superficiality to the crazy right-wing propaganda I spew through my pizza pie hole.” (Which is to say, man of ideas he is not, let alone a deep one.)

Third, the guy blanked when asked about Libya. (Remember that, when “all of this stuff twirling around in my head” confused him to the point of mental collapse?) And… 

Oh, I was going to go back through the mists of time, back to when he was a Republican star, to provide some of his greatest hits, but what’s the point?

He proved himself to be a fool, an ignoramus, and a clown — and worse. And he’s still at it.

So. Fucking. Hilarious.