Inspired by a conversation with a Jewish friend — which began by her saying she wanted to found a sports team nicknamed “The Dreidels” — together we came up with the following list of stereotypically (and alliteration-friendly) Jewish sports teams.

Detroit Dreidels

Honolulu Hanukkahs

Baltimore Bar-Mitzvahs

Milwaukee Mazel-Tovs

Grand Rapids Gelt (Alternatively, the Grand Rapids Guilt)

Trenton Torahs

Gettysburg Gefilte Fish

Miami Menches

Seattle Shaloms

Michigan Menorahs

Boston Bat-Mitzvahs

Minnesota Matzaballs

Houston Hava Nagilas

Green Bay Goyim

San Jose Shmear

Orlando Oy-Veys

Edmonton Exodus (Courtesy my man Keith Goldner)

Story from the July 27, 2011 Minneapolis Star Tribune with accompanying video package.

Alexa Score’s friends should have known better. When the 21-year-old former Spicer, Minn., resident said she wanted to become a professional wakeboarder, a few were skeptical of her ambitions.

But doubt the only rookie competing in the women’s pro division at WWA Wakeboarding Nationals in Minneapolis this week about anything and chances are you’ll be proved wrong.

After all, she has overcome far more than a few naysayers to find success on the water. Score stared down leukemia like an oncoming wave. She soared over it and has never looked back.

Score’s chronic myeloid leukemia was diagnosed on Dec. 1, 2006, in the middle of her high school gymnastics season. Right away, her doctors got concerned. Score wasn’t reacting to the news like they thought she should.

“Everyone knows I’m kind of stubborn,” said Score, who started wakeboarding when she was 10 and began pursuing it seriously around 16. “I don’t deal with that kind of thing well. If something’s messing with me, that’s going to give me that much more fire to beat it. I knew I was going to get better. There wasn’t any other way.”

Her family knew that, too. “My heart sank,” Score’s sister Tiffany said of the diagnosis. “Her reaction wasn’t tears. It was strictly determination. I can’t imagine someone telling me that and having that same attitude and reaction to something so serious. At 16 years old, to face your mortality with that kind of maturity is amazing.”

Alexa began sleeping 18 hours a day; the typically early riser even stayed in bed until 3 p.m. on Christmas that year. At times, she couldn’t sit up in bed. She went to school for just two hours a day.

That December, doctors at Children’s Hospital of St. Paul brought Score into a cramped hospital room with 2-foot-wide windows. Here, they said, she would spend the next few months after receiving the seemingly inevitable bone marrow transplant. The news was devastating.

But Alexa had no intentions of missing the summer. The Facebook group started by her sister said it all: Leukemia had no idea who it messed with.

“Things are going to happen, and you’re going to be in a lot of pain,” said Score, who will be a senior at the University of Central Florida. “It’s real easy to get discouraged, but you have to just have to keep that positive attitude. When you get down, look at those letters again and remember all the people who were behind you.”

Two and a half months later, she made a full recovery, without the transplant. The doctors were stunned. Maybe Score should have been also, but she was far too focused on getting better.

“Your mentality will make the difference in recovery no matter what it is,” said Score, who continues to take chemotherapy pills as a preventative measure. “Willpower and determination became 90 percent of my recovery.

“The human spirit, the will to live, those are the most powerful things in the universe.”

Making the meet

A 2007 gymnastics meet symbolizes Score’s journey.

All season, Score told her gymnastics coaches that she would compete at sections to help lead the New London-Spicer High School team to the state tournament for the first time.

“She was never looking for anybody to feel sorry for her,” Tiffany said. “I know for a fact that there are people who she’s known for years who don’t know that she lives with this burden.”

Days before sections, however, the bone pain made it impossible for Score, who had lost 15 pounds by then, to make it up the stairs. But new medication, suggested by her pharmacist father, helped reduce the inflammation.

The next day, Score was running up and down those stairs, a moment that brought her father to tears. Her team voted that she should compete. Score won the balance beam and reached states in the floor exercise. The Spicer-New London team won the sections team title.

“That was probably one of the best moments of my life,” Score said. “If anything could symbolize success, it was being able to share that moment with my team.”

In competition

Score moved to Orlando with her sister shortly after graduating from high school, then spent a year at the University of Minnesota. But she missed wakeboarding too much and knew she had to return to the sport’s capital.

Now, one year after winning the amateur women’s division at nationals, Score will compete for a title in the pro women’s division on Friday.

Standing on the dock by the Mississippi River while preparing for a brief training session, Score methodically coiled a wakeboarding rope.

Staring out into the distance, her dirty-blonde ponytail flapping in the breeze and a yellow Livestrong bracelet riding up her arm, Score was interrupted by boat driver Chris Bischoff. Apparently she was wrapping the rope a little too slowly.

“Wakeboarders are all the same,” Bischoff said from the front of the boat with a smile.

Score ushered a response that at once defined her capabilities as a warrior of the waves and cancer.

“Yeah, right!”

Originally published in the Star Tribune on July 19, 2011, featuring quite possibly the best ending line I’ve ever written

Downtown United is the American dream condensed into a single soccer club.

The 15-and-under team from Manhattan is an athletic melting pot, a microcosm of New York. Most are second-generation Americans. Some hail from Colombia, Trinidad and Nigeria. Others are Mexican, Irish, Argentinean, Peruvian, German, Ecuadorian and Indian. It’s the U.N. of youth soccer.

“This is the American dream in a nutshell, isn’t it?” coach Oscar Cantu said. “To come to a country where there’s opportunity and get access to that opportunity. Through soccer, they’re gaining access.”

As the team competes in the Schwan’s USA Cup at the National Sports Center in Blaine this week, Downtown United remains a family, undaunted by socioeconomic limitations.

At the Western Hemisphere’s largest youth soccer tournament, players say they have received a few ugly comments. But five years together means having each other’s backs, deflecting racism while embracing uniqueness. Goals speak louder than fists.

“This is our team, and we’re all a family,” said defender Chris Schrum, one of United’s captains. “We don’t think, ‘Oh he’s black, he’s Mexican.’ When things get heated, we back each other up and stay calm.”

Diversity, however, has its advantages for the Region I Premier League champions, who qualified for this tournament by winning their age group at the Columbus Cup in Pennsylvania last fall.

“Everyone stands out in his own way,” said center forward Suleiman Harunaya, who immigrated to the U.S. from Nigeria in September. “Everyone has their own game pattern, but we just play as a team. That’s why I think we’re one of the best in New York.”

High aspirations

Nathaniel Brown refuses to die a statistic.

In other words, the Trinidadian won’t allow himself to end up among the 65 percent of African-Americans in Manhattan’s outer boroughs who drop out of high school.

“I want to make something of myself,” said Brown, a defender whose twin, Nicholas, also plays for United. “If I wasn’t on Downtown, I’d be on the streets doing delinquent stuff. Being on this team has helped me refrain from doing that.”

The ultimate objective isn’t victories or trophies. It’s college matriculation.

Cantu, an investment banker, holds regular goal-setting meetings and checks on his players’ report cards. His fiancée helps with college admissions and SAT prep.

“We came to find out that it’s not cool to be smart in their schools,” said Cantu, a first-generation collegian himself. “We encouraged them to aim high, because there’s no reason not to. They didn’t know that 90s or 95s might allow them to pop up higher on the radar for colleges.”

Soccer provides the path.

“This opened up my eyes,” said Cantu, who played at the USA Cup 13 years ago. “Through soccer, I was able to see what was out there, and that’s what it’s all about. At the most simple level, we’re trying to get them to see what’s out there, to see the kids who are going to be successful later in life and hopefully emulate that.”

Dreams of the future

The night after Downtown United was bounced during group play at the 16U Elite Tournament this past weekend at the NSC, Harunaya had a dream.

While awaiting the team’s first USA Cup game Tuesday, he envisioned his team hoisting the trophy. The victory validated all the hard work, such as when snow forced them to practice in a parking garage at New York’s Pier 40.

The well-tended fields at the NSC are a far cry from a pillar-filled parking lot.

“When we all walked out of the airport, we felt like professionals, because we’re traveling across the country to come play soccer,” Schrum said.

Strolling beside the water during a team trip to Minnehaha Falls on Sunday, midfielder Maxi Ojeda recalled the team’s food festival in June, when parents cooked authentic Latin American dishes to help raise $4,000 for the trip.

The family came together that night at Manhattan’s Central Bar. The players, 85 percent of whom are on scholarship, made speeches about Cantu and how this team has affected their lives.

It was a brief glimpse into what makes Downtown great. Diversity joined together, providing access to soccer and to opportunity.

Downtown is the world, United.

From the Star Tribune’s Around the Majors blog

There’s been a mutiny in the press box on a beautiful Wednesday afternoon at Target Field. Sports reporter Amelia Rayno (@AmeliaRayno) and Strib intern Alex Prewitt (@Alex_Prewitt) have hijacked Joe’s Around the Majors blog and will be taking it over for today’s 12:10 game against the Rays.

MAUER OFF TODAY, AT 1B TOMORROW

Joe Mauer will get today off after experiencing some general soreness in his shoulder following yesterday’s 3-2 win over the Rays, but will start at first base tomorrow night when the Twins travel to Chicago for a four-game series with the White Sox.

“I want to do anything I can to help the team,” said Mauer, who has talked to Michael Cuddyer and some other Twins for tips. “Obviously for me personally, it’s going to be a grind the rest of the way, physically. So if this allows me to take a day from behind the plate and give your body a little break, it’ll be a good thing.”

Mauer hasn’t played first in 10 years, but manager Ron Gardenhire says Mauer’s fundamentals are looking good.

“We won’t really know until we get him over there and see, but honestly he’s pretty fluid over there,” Gardenhire said. “He’s got soft hands, he moves around there pretty well, all the fundamental parts of it.”

BAKER COULD MISS NEXT START

Scott Baker left yesterday’s start after the fifth inning with a mild right elbow strain and will get an MRI today. Gardenhire’s “gut feeling” is that Baker will miss his next scheduled start on Sunday against Chicago. That would give Baker the All-Star Break to recover.

“There’s a pretty good chance of that,” said Gardenhire, who hasn’t discussed the matter yet with the trainers. “Bake says he feels pretty good today, but there’s a pretty good chance that we give him those days and then the All-Star Break days. We’ll all feel a little bit better about it letting him get through that.”

In the event that Baker missed the series-finale against the White Sox, Anthony Swarzak will get the start. Swarzak (1-2, 3.94 ERA) has thrown over 90 pitches four times this season, most recently in a six-inning relief appearance against Texas on June 10. His last start came in a 8-2 win over Kansas City on June 2. He gave up seven hits and two runs in six innings then. According to Gardenhire, Swarzak is “100-pitch ready.”

CAPPS WILL ‘BE FINE’

After being removed from save situations in consecutive appearances, Matt Capps could get a little rest this afternoon, according to Gardenhire. Capps gave up a first-pitch homer to B.J. Upton that brought the Rays within one run, and left to boos with two outs after walking Kelly Shoppach. Lefty Glen Perkins came on and got the save for the second time in three games.

“I know he’s frustrated, so we’ll see what we can do,” Gardenhire said. “Cappy’s going to be fine, I know that, throwing the ball. Our big concern, as we talked about last night, is getting him back to feeling good about himself and then throwing the ball good too.”

BROOM TIME?

The Twins are looking for its first sweep of an AL East opponent since Aug. 23-26, 2007 against the Orioles, but first they’ll have to get by starter Wade Davis and Rays, who Minnesota hasn’t swept at home in six years. The right-hander has a 1.80 ERA in his past three starts and has already beaten Minnesota twice this season, allowing three runs in 13.2 innings.

The Twins will send Francisco Liriano to the mound. The lefty has a 2.89 ERA over his past seven starts with 47 strikeouts in 43.2 innings but is 1-3 with a 8.20 ERA in four starts against AL East foes this season and gave up six hits and seven runs in 3.0 innings versus the Rays on April 27.

PLOUFFE HOT IN ROCHESTER

Trevor Plouffe had a big day at AAA Rochester yesterday, swatting three homers in the doubleheader. He now has 15 home runs in 45 games for the Red Wings this season and started the nightcap at first base, a move that Gardenhire told Rochester to make.

“I was the one who called and told to put him at first base,” Gardenhire said. “I’m looking for all kinds of options. I told him to keep playing first base until we call.”

Gardenhire’s problem will be finding space on the roster for Plouffe. If he makes a move, he said it will likely be a catcher who will head back to Rochester.

Position-wise, Gardenhire said that Plouffe could fit in at first base with the Twins, where he played during a spring training game, or in the outfield. Red Wings manager Tom Nieto told Gardenhire that Nieto “wouldn’t have any problem putting him in the outfield in a big-league game right now.”

REVERE AWARDED

Center fielder Ben Revere was named the American League Co-Rookie of the Month for June along with Oakland’s Jemile Weeks after batting .294 (30-for-102) with 14 runs, nine RBI, four doubles, one triple and seven stolen bases in 25 games. Revere had 11 multi-hit games in the month and led all rookies in hits, runs and stolen bases. He’s the third Twin to win the award after Francisco Liriano (June and July 2006) and Boof Bonser (Sept. 2006).

INJURY NOTES

An MRI on Jason Kubel (sprained mid-left foot) revealed no ligament damage, but had a little swelling and a little bone bruise. “We’re going to back off a few days,” Twins trainer Rick McWane said. “We’re up against the All-Star Break so I would imagine he’s going to take it easy the next few days and then wrap him up after the break and see where we are.)

Kevin Slowey (abdominal strain) will start for Rochester on Sunday and will throw 70-75 pitches, according to Gardenhire. Slowey earned a no-decision in the Red Wings’ 13-3 win yesterday, allowing four hits and two runs in 2.2 innings while throwing 56 pitches.
Delmon Young (right ankle sprain) went 2-for-7 as the DH in Rochester’s doubleheader yesterday. He hit a two-run homer in the first game and will DH tonight at 7:05 p.m. EST.

Denard Span (concussion) will travel with the team to Chicago.

Justin Morneau will get stitches removed from his back today after undergoing recent surgery on his neck.

RAYS (47-39)

1. Damon, DH
2. Zobrist, RF
3. Longoria, 3B
4. Upton, CF
5. Rodriguez, 2B
6. Kotchman, 1B
7. Ruggiano, LF
8. Shoppach, C
9. Johnson, SS

Starting pitcher: RH Wade Davis (7-6, 4.20 ERA)

TWINS (38-46)

1. Revere, CF
2. Casilla, 2B
3. Cuddyer, 1B
4. Thome, DH
5. Valencia, 3B
6. Tosoni, LF
7. Repko, RF
8. Rivera, C
9. Nishioka, SS

Starting pitcher: LH Francisco Liriano (5-7, 4.76 ERA)

Target Field. First pitch: 12:10 p.m. TV: FSN. Twins Radio Network

Republished from the Minneapolis Star Tribune. July 3, 2011

The luster of playing in the All-Star Game hasn’t worn off for Ryan Braun. In fact, this one might be even more special.

For the first time in the Brewers’ 41-year history, Milwaukee will have three All-Star Game starters, the most in the National League and second only to the Yankees in the majors.

Braun, first baseman Prince Fielder and second baseman Rickie Weeks were voted by fans into the NL’s starting lineup for the game on July 12 at Arizona’s Chase Field in Phoenix.

Milwaukee has sent two starters five times in club history and three All-Stars to the past five Midsummer Classics, but having a third of the NL starting lineup coming from the Brew Crew speaks volumes, according to manager Ron Roenicke.

“I think it says we’ve got a great core group of players, guys who are consistent, guys who are at the top of their position,” he said. “I think the way we play, people are starting to notice that this is a good team.”

Any celebration surrounding a proud moment in Brewers history, however, was dampened Sunday when the Brewers blew a 6-1 lead to the Twins and lost 9-7. Milwaukee has now dropped five of its past six and has won only one series since mid-June.

Though the Brewers have struggled through interleague play, posting a 6-9 record since June 17, Milwaukee is the only NL club with more than one All-Star starter, testifying to the team’s success.

“It’s ultimately indicative of the fact that we had a good first half as a team,” Braun said. “If a team doesn’t have a good first half, there’s no way you get three guys in the All-Star Game.”

Braun, who holds an MLB-best 22-game hitting streak, is fourth in the NL in RBI (62) and OPS (.961), and he led all NL players in fan votes with 5,928,004.

Provided he heals from the left calf strain that kept Braun out of the series finale against the Twins, he will make his fourth consecutive All-Star start, a franchise record.

“No, not at all,” said Braun, when asked if the magnitude of the experience fades over time. “It’s still amazing.”

Fielder, who will also captain the NL Home Run Derby team, will make his second start in three All-Star appearances, and he leads the NL with 69 RBI. Weeks, second in the NL in runs scored (59), will appear in his first Midsummer Classic.

Despite winning only three of eight series in June, Milwaukee (45-40) remains tied atop the NL Central. The Brewers are looking to return to the playoffs for the first time since ’08 and for the fourth time in franchise history.

And if the first half hasn’t already done so, having three All-Star starters should help put the small-market club on the map.

“It obviously means we’re headed in the right direction,” Braun said. “To be recognized like this on a national scale, for the city of Milwaukee, is huge. It’s important for us as a franchise, and it’s exciting.”

Republished from the Minneapolis Star Tribune. June 25, 2011

The Beast was upset.

Just hours after a loss to Compton High in 2007, the La Mirada (Calif.) High School boys’ basketball team went to In-N-Out Burger for a postgame meal. Among them was a tearful Derrick Williams.

By all accounts, he should have been happy with his performance. The sophomore put up 23 points and 12 rebounds against Compton and a highly touted recruit named DeMar DeRozan.

Williams, however, couldn’t shake the fact that La Mirada let one slip away. So when assistant coach Charlie Torres asked him why he was crying, Williams had one response.

“He kept telling me, ‘I want to play. Let’s go play,’ ” said Torres, now the La Mirada interim head coach. “So at 1:30 in the morning, we all went to 24-Hour Fitness and played until 3. He just wanted to make a name for himself. He wanted to be on the map, and look at him now.”

Much has been written about Williams’ improbable ascent, how an unheralded high schooler absent from most national top-100 lists blossomed into the Pacific-10 Player of the Year at Arizona and became the No. 2 overall pick by the Timberwolves in Thursday’s NBA draft.

Four years removed from that late-night excursion, Williams has more than entered the map; he’s stomped on to the national scene.

Torres fondly remembers working with Williams in the La Mirada gym for hours after practice, propping doors open with bottle caps to get in extra time. When Williams was a junior playing AAU basketball, he began calling Torres to let him know about open gyms in the area.

At that moment, Torres realized the potential for greatness unfolding before his eyes.

“Derrick’s the most coachable, most responsible kid I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” said Torres, who was in attendance to see his pupil and friend drafted Thursday in Newark, N.J. “I knew I created a monster.”

But at his introductory news conference Friday, Williams was calm and soft-spoken, displaying the family-centric values learned from his mother while he prepares to, as Wolves President of Basketball Operations David Kahn said, join a new “family.”

“He’s a very humble young man who loves to have fun,” said Rhoma Moore, her son’s No. 7 Wolves jersey draped across her body. “But when he’s on the court, he’s totally the opposite. He’s considered ‘the Beast’ by his friends.”

Need proof of Williams’ character? Consider this: When Williams was preparing for the NBA combine in early May, tragedy struck La Mirada.

Cameron Gillett, a former teammate, had died in a car accident at age 21. Realizing the opportunity to use his newfound celebrity status to help, Williams dropped everything and flew home. In a week, he organized a charity basketball game to help defray funeral costs.

“Just being that big in my city, I knew I had to do something,” Williams said. “That was a terrible experience and it was a tragic moment for all of us, but he loved basketball, and I felt like doing that was the best thing.”

Though Williams didn’t play in the game, the event raised $8,000 for the Gillett family.

“That’s just the type of person Derrick is,” sister Latoni Moore said. “He’s going to try to help in any way possible. For him to do that and for it to be as big as it was, it says that he’s a good person and he has a good heart.”

After Friday’s news conference, Williams sat on the stage, dangling his feet off the edge. When asked about the importance of staying grounded, especially given the expectations associated with helping turn around a 17-victory franchise, he glanced at his mother, sister and niece sitting nearby.

“You always want to stick with the people who knew you before you became a star,” he said. “Those are your true friends, the ones who don’t worry about D-Will the basketball player but who worry about Derrick Williams, the one they met before. Whenever you have friends like that, it really keeps you humble.”

News of the Wolves drafting Williams reached his friends in La Mirada during high school graduation Thursday. When the principal announced the Wolves’ selection, 8,000 attendees at the football stadium erupted into applause.

Among the crowd there was Richie Estrella, a lifelong friend and former teammate. Unable to make it to the draft, he instead called Williams last week, reminding him that, no matter the sponsorships or the contracts or the fame, the friends back home were there to stay.

“When he would come home, we’d play at the gym for 3 hours a night, and after Derrick would go home to be with his family,” said Estrella, now a rising senior at Pepperdine. “It was really weird, because you would think that a guy with that much celebrity power would want to go live it up and take advantage of his fame.

“That he didn’t do that says it all.”

We’re live here at the Kid’s Sports Oscars after a tremendous trip down the red carpet with the washed-up child actors of the 1990s. Follow us here for up-to-the-minute analysis on the winners as the award show will likely last throughout the week. Who will take home the prestigious Ball Trophy? Only time will tell.

After a crazy first round of Video Awards (You can check out the winners here), we will move on to the more serious awards. The eighth category to be announced, and second of the Part One categories, will be for Best Character to Crush On. But before we announce the winner, let’s first take a moment to break down the nominees.

Best Character to Crush On
1. Becky, “Rookie of the Year”
2. Wendy Peffercorn, “The Sandlot”
3. Julie “The Cat” Gaffney, “D2: The Mighty Ducks”
4. Becky “The Ice Box” O’Shea, “Little Giants”
5. Junior Floyd, “Little Giants”

Likely the most unknown, Becky from “Rookie of the Year” is nonetheless a dark-horse candidate for the Kid’s Sports Oscar, an ironic moniker given her relatively light skin tones. Relatively anonymous throughout most of the movie, she grows attracted to our hero, Henry Rowengartner. Though unstated, their attraction grows to such levels that she probably let him have a row in her gartners. The relationship between the Madonna-like Becky — both in raw sexual magnetism and absence of a surname — and Rowengartner blossoms to new heights when they hit the open waters together in the crew’s canoe, an obvious symbol of the pre-teen relationship sailing into the unknown.

Undoubtedly the oldest crush item on this list, Wendy Peffercorn from “The Sandlot” might very well be the most sizzling. The desirable lifeguard, perched atop her phallic chair, evokes images of a 1960s male-dominated society. Once an idealized figure of unattainable beauty to the sandlot boys, she eventually succumbs to Michael “Squints” Palledorous’ blatant advances and marries the poor-visioned child. Even though the viewer wonders why she didn’t go for the older and more experienced Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez, the picture to the right tells the whole story. She, like her future lover, squints, likely to get a closer look at the pre-pubescent child who has her lady boner raging so fiercely. And just like Palledorous fakes CPR to secure one kiss, so too must we the viewers tuck our erections into our waistbands, and fake like we just had to perform a typical rearrangement down there.

“Meow,” we want to say whenever Juile “The Cat” Gaffney appears in “D2: The Mighty Ducks,”  her Bangor, Maine beauty resonating through those bulky goalie pads. A little-used reserve through much of the Goodwill Games, Gaffney brings Team USA glory in crunch time, stopping Gunner Stahl’s penalty shot — and with it his blonde, Icelandic, sexual advances — to give the Americans the gold. Her sexiness is mirrored in her skills. From the moment she arrives on screen, stopping shot after shot in the hockey girl’s version of a sports mating call, we are smitten. Her stoic demeanor and fierce competitiveness make her an ultimate crush candidate.

Gaffney may compete on a hockey rink, but Becky “The Ice Box” O’Shea from “Little Giants” is the true ice queen, stunning the kids with her cuteness, unlikely football abilities and bone-crushing hits. For some reason, she becomes less attractive when she becomes a cheerleader for the Cowboys, and the image of her storming out of the locker room, skirt (for some reason) still on and eye-black framing her face, is enough to solidify her as a legitimate crush item. I mean, fuck, she drives a go-kart. How awesome is that? Plus, if we’ve learned anything, it’s that naming a character Becky instantly makes her appealing to preteen boys. 

O’Shea’s on-screen counterpart, Junior Floyd from “Little Giants,” is quite the heartthrob himself. He possesses the desirable everyman quality, spurning the rich Cowboys for the underdog Giants. He practices football by throwing toilet paper into shopping carts, and his baby blue uniform really brings out his irresistible eyes. How could he not win? 

 And the winner is…

“Wendy Peffercorn” from “The Sandlot”

Come on. She’s the only one who wasn’t underage when the movie was filmed.

…She was 19. Goddamnit.

I suppose I don’t think about my father in excess on this arbitrary day meant for honoring our patriarchal influences. He’s on my mind pretty much all the time and, save the fact that I’ll call him at an earlier hour than usual, Father’s Day doesn’t really do much for me.

That’s not to say that he hasn’t done much for me, because he has.

In my cluttered bedroom, next to the jerseys and article clips and posters, is a framed scorecard from one of my Little League games. I suppose I played well that day. If I remember correctly, it was the AAA championship and my Mets won.

I think.

My dad made it for me. When we went to Shea Stadium that summer, he took a Mets scorecard and filled in the box score to forever commemorate my triumph. And in the bottom-left corner of the poster, below the shaded diamonds, the backwards K’s and the F-8′s, is a picture of me and my father, hugging like we always do.

Smiling like we always do.

There’s no real reason why I’m writing this now, other than the fact that it’s Father’s Day and I felt this needed to be said. My dad — or Appa, as I call him — is very much a part of my life and very much around to this day. Just like he was 12 years ago, when the juvenile Mets won the juvenile pennant.

I think.

Memories of actual games are hazy, but the experience, the feeling I got playing under my dad and, later, coaching alongside him, very much resonate on a daily basis.

Our once-hierarchical relationship now thrives on the buddy system. He’s my friend, my peer, even though I still idolize him and marvel at his stocked bookshelves or seemingly infinite capacity for wisdom. He teaches me things. He helps me understand the world.

I meant for this post to be lighthearted, but I suppose it’s growing sentimental, which is stupid because I can call my dad up and have a conversation, a luxury others are not afforded.

We spent many hours together, whistling on the way to Westgate Field in Northern Virginia — the same tune, started at the same place, before every game — munching on sunflower seeds in the front of the family’s rundown burgundy Chevy Nova. Eventually, I became a peer, moving from the field into the dugout as we filled out lineup cards together over dinner.

In high school he too moved, from the dugout to the stands. The car changed, the whistling gone, but father and son, the former in business attire just off work and the latter in the grass-stained pants, fresh off another game. He came along with me on countless recruiting trips as I foolishly pursued a collegiate baseball career, and supported me when I said I wanted to quit.

And now, two weeks into my sports internship with the Star Tribune, he’s still my biggest fan, cheering on every byline as if I was back swiping bases at George Mason High School. In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it’s nothing special. Fathers are supposed to be proud of their sons.

But today, on the Day of Fathers when we reflect on those who made us who we are, I’m infinitely more proud of my dad than he ever could be of me.

Now that, I know. 

We are at an impass.

We want to hate LeBron James, to brand him a selfish asshole and watch him drown under the pressure.  watch him drown in the pressure while we stand idly by and say Told ya so. We want to see the man who spurned his home city to go off galavanting with his friends on the beach fall just short of his ultimate goal. We want the King to be dethroned.

And yet, there’s something about his performance in the NBA Finals that’s so anti-LeBron, that runs perpendicular to the selfish image we’ve branded onto the King’s crown with an iron fire-poker. He’s eschewing game-winning shots for passes. He’s playing lock-down defense that’s effectively neutralized the Dallas Mavericks’ Jason Terry.

He’s coming off as the gasp good guy.   

So what do we do? Even when the opposite occurs, do we continue to crucify him like CBS’ Gregg Doyel, who labeled LeBron an “incredibly shrinking superstar”? Do we recognize greatness even in the absence of gaudy scoring totals like Deadspin’s Emma Carmichael?

As Carmichael pointed out, we’re having the discussion about whether James would be disappointed if — read: when — Dwyane Wade wins the NBA Finals MVP award. But doing so makes the same foolish assumption that we all did when his reputation spontaneously combusted on ESPN last July.

That LeBron James gives a shit about what you think.

See, he went to Miami and ignored the critics because he has absolutely no interest in listening to anyone else. James wanted to win a championship and play with his friends, so he went to Miami. End of story. If he cared about what others thought, he would have stayed in Cleveland, or at least departed from his hometown in a more ceremonious and apologetic manner. Instead, he stuck up his royal middle finger and never looked back.

And now, we get pissed at everything James does, because we’ve established this villainous image and will slot the King’s play into the evil model regardless of his performance.

If he passes too much, he’s shying away from the spotlight and is afraid of greatness. If he shoots too much, he’s too selfish. If he shoots too poorly, it’s because Delonte West is banging his mom.

Here’s what we’re missing: He doesn’t care. LeBron James is basketball’s greatest active player, and joining Wade and Chris Bosh on the Heat put him on the fast track to an NBA title. With Miami up 2-1 on the Mavericks, James is finally playing like a champion instead of merely having the talent of one. He passes because it’s best for the team. He plays defense because it’s best for the team. And even though he’s winning, even though Miami’s formed into a cohesive unit, we won’t rest until he’s failed.

But no matter how many rings he gets, LeBron James can never win.  

Kris Humphries, the New Jersey Net who bears the middling stat line of 10.0 ppg and 10.4 rpg, recently got engaged to Kim Kardashian, a 30-year-old famous for a sex tape, two reality shows and getting porked by Miles Austin and Reggie Bush, two athletes far famous than her now-fiancée. And her, for that matter.

Aside from further bestowing upon the Kardashians unnecessary fame and attention, this faux-celebrity engagement reminds us of the Beyonce Effect. Whenever a celebrity couple gets married, media outlets will insist on borrowing that iconic line from “Single Ladies.” You know, the one about putting rings on the elusive “it.” This Kardashian-Humphries engagement, while less of a celebrity marriage and more of a 20.5-karat, $2-million LOOK AT US! LOOK HOW GLAMOROUS WE ARE situation, nonetheless has sports writers and gossip columnists alike abusing Beyonce’s phrase:

“But it was nevertheless surprising when it emerged this morning that Kim Kardashian’s baller fiancé Kris Humphries liked it so much he put a 20.5-carat ring on it” — E! Online

“The Kim Kardashian Effect: Advanced Stats Show Why Kris Humphries Put A Ring On It” — Deadspin

New Jersey Nets player Kris Humphries has put a diamond ring on the finger of Kim Kardashian, and the couple are now engaged, the reality TV star’s rep confirms to CNN. — CNN.com

“Kris Humphries put a ring on it. The basketballer popped the question to reality starlet Kim Kardashian last week, and she, of course, said yes.” — MTV.com & VH1.com

“Kris Humphries put a ring on Kim Kardashian, and it certainly cost him.” — OK! Magazine

“Congrats are in order! Bootylicious babe Kim Kardashian finally got her basketball player boyfriend, Kris Humphries, to put a ring on it. Get it, girl!” — WetPaint

Every person on Twitter. 

I still don’t fully comprehend the concept of “putting a ring” on “it.” This all sounds very existential.

Kris Humphries, the New Jersey Net who bears the middling stat line of 10.0 ppg and 10.4 rpg, recently got engaged to Kim Kardashian, a 30-year-old famous for a sex tape, two reality shows and getting porked by Miles Austin and Reggie Bush, two athletes far famous than her now-fiancée. And her, for that matter.

Aside from further bestowing upon the Kardashians unnecessary fame and attention, this faux-celebrity engagement reminds us of the Beyonce Effect. Whenever a celebrity couple gets married, media outlets will insist on borrowing that iconic line from “Single Ladies.” You know, the one about putting rings on the elusive “it.” This Kardashian-Humphries engagement, while less of a celebrity marriage and more of a 20.5-karat, $2-million LOOK AT US! LOOK HOW GLAMOROUS WE ARE situation, nonetheless has sports writers and gossip columnists alike abusing Beyonce’s phrase:

“But it was nevertheless surprising when it emerged this morning that Kim Kardashian’s baller fiancé Kris Humphries liked it so much he put a 20.5-carat ring on it” — E! Online

“The Kim Kardashian Effect: Advanced Stats Show Why Kris Humphries Put A Ring On It” — Deadspin

New Jersey Nets player Kris Humphries has put a diamond ring on the finger of Kim Kardashian, and the couple are now engaged, the reality TV star’s rep confirms to CNN. — CNN.com

“Kris Humphries put a ring on it. The basketballer popped the question to reality starlet Kim Kardashian last week, and she, of course, said yes.” — MTV.com & VH1.com

“Kris Humphries put a ring on Kim Kardashian, and it certainly cost him.” — OK! Magazine

“Congrats are in order! Bootylicious babe Kim Kardashian finally got her basketball player boyfriend, Kris Humphries, to put a ring on it. Get it, girl!” — WetPaint

Every person on Twitter. 

I still don’t fully comprehend the concept of “putting a ring” on “it.” This all sounds very existential.